Funny Proverb Fan Pillows

Sometimes the 'Staggers-in-at-4 AM Bird' beats the Early Bird to the worm.

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"Wow, what a DILF."

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

'Is the dead mouse played with before it's prepared?'

"Old Jack Frost nipping at your nose, eh?"

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

Arm Chair

"Wow! I never knew the Vancouver Island marmot is among the rarest animals in the world! Pretty cool, huh?"

Funky Facts - UK kids.

"So that's Ireland."

"The genetically modified corn wants us to knock it off with the crop circles."

Pearls Before Swine is not a terribly savvy name

"Okay - I can see you now."

"Well yes, I could prescribe glasses, but frankly, just cutting your fringe would probably work better..."

"And you say these stabbing back pains started when you got into politics?"

A watched kettle never boils.

'I'll look for apples -- you keep an eye out for early birds.'

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

Skipping with a beard.

'Delivery for Muhammad.'

Cornucopia of cornucopias.

"I would say they are mountains, but who ever heard of pink mountains?"

Dish and spoons, "She always goes off with the dishy ones"

"The end of my Sharpie is near."

"Did you know the Sun is 93 million miles from Earth?"

"Go soft or go home!!!"