Phrase Fan Pillows

'Delivery for Muhammad.'

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

Division of Putting Toothpaste Back in the Tube

I never understood why they talk about something "going south" as if it is a bad thing.

"Wow, what a DILF."

Campaign for Plain English

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

Exciting potato bugs.

The Da Vinci Cod

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

You're my Venus

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

"He wasn't even early - he was on his way home from a party!"

OMG.

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

Rembrandt's Selfies

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

"The people will not tolerate people speaking on behalf of the people any longer!"

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

'I'm terribly sorry. I thought it said 'gods'.'

First O.M.G. church.

"Another selfie, Rembrandt?"

"I'm not loitering officer, I 'm waiting for the next renaissance!"

'Bone appetit!'

Polo pony

"It's funny. . . I know it's the renaissance, but I keep writing dark ages on my checks!"

At home with the pedants "It's raining small carnivorous quadrupedes" "Both feline and canine?"

Thomas Wyatt

'He doesn't get the jokes - he just laughs at the F-words.'

"I can't see it lasting!"

'Of course I just retweet everything I see - I'm a parrot.'

Pearls Before Swine is not a terribly savvy name