Funny Proverb Fan Gifts

Sometimes the 'Staggers-in-at-4 AM Bird' beats the Early Bird to the worm.

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"Wow, what a DILF."

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

Funky Facts - UK kids.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians

"Old Jack Frost nipping at your nose, eh?"

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

"Wow! I never knew the Vancouver Island marmot is among the rarest animals in the world! Pretty cool, huh?"

'Listen to this: Each drop of water we drink may have once been in a glacier, Attila the Hun's stew, Mike Tyson's sweat, Liberace's bathwater, drool from a...'

'Is the dead mouse played with before it's prepared?'

Arm Chair

"So that's Ireland."

"The genetically modified corn wants us to knock it off with the crop circles."

"And you say these stabbing back pains started when you got into politics?"

Pearls Before Swine is not a terribly savvy name

"Well yes, I could prescribe glasses, but frankly, just cutting your fringe would probably work better..."

"Okay - I can see you now."

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

Skipping with a beard.

A watched kettle never boils.

'I'll look for apples -- you keep an eye out for early birds.'

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."

'Delivery for Muhammad.'

Cornucopia of cornucopias.

Thank you! That paper almost hit me in the head. The old saying is true ... Good fencers make good neighbors!

"I would say they are mountains, but who ever heard of pink mountains?"

I never understood why they talk about something "going south" as if it is a bad thing.

Dish and spoons, "She always goes off with the dishy ones"

"The end of my Sharpie is near."

"Did you know the Sun is 93 million miles from Earth?"

I like spring okay, except for the mammoths shedding.