Funny Gift Admirer Gifts

"Sorry Rudolph, this year I'm going with Steve and his sweet disco ball nose."

Lactose Intolerant

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'First, let me apologize for suggesting you throw horseshoes as therapy.'

Hissy-fits for sale.

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

A giant cat sleeps fitfully with four humans on the bed

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'You're not from around here, are you?'

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

'My graduation gown got lost at the cleaners. Think anyone will notice this Snuggie?'

Welcome centre

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

'This milk smells funny.'

Chilli Quartet

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

Nail Bar

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

"I sense a change in the weather! So I bought you this..."

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

Old lady posts adverts for fur gloves over poster of a lost cat,

"You paid to have a grain of sand named after me? You're such an idiot."

'I know we asked for a room with running water,but...'

"What did your tia Carmen get you for Christmas?"

"It's four pounds a night, and one hour treadmill time..."