Funny Anniversary Celebrator Pillows

'I had everything ready for a nice romantic dinner, but sure enough, he ruined it by getting into a feeding frenzy...'

Skeleton playing fetch.

"I'm here for the hair."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

Happy Bifurcation Day,

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

"Happy new year!"

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

"We're celebrating our 25th anniversary, so separate checks."

The first birthday gift.

"It's like every year my fear gets a little worse."

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

Life begins at 60

Happy Birthday!

"She just uses all that make-up to hide her age."

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

'Born again birthdays don't count.'

Handel sitting on a piano

Alien Birthdays...

'Didn't we fly over this hill ten minutes ago?'

"This is where the party budget ran out."

"He hit the big 60 today, and now he's just drooping around the house, convinced that he can hear his arteries hardening."

'I must be getting older, the cards joking about my age just don't seem as funny anymore'

A drum covered in candles

'You remembered our anniversary!'

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

Sixty

"The secret to a long life?... Waking up every morning."