Funeral Service Appreciator Pillows

'I'm really worried about his soul. One of my handbaskets is missing.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

Maradona memorial.

An awkward moment during the coronation...

'He had bad breath, but I suppose that was better than no breath at all.'

Snake funerals.

Gravedigger

"We were out of embalming fluid so we stuffed your wife with wild rice."

"This is our basic flush but I think your loved one would appreciate a more substantial flush."

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

'- and how does the graveyard shift appeal to you?'

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

'This restaurant is great They always keep my water glass full,'

Bismarck's Death

In memory of the memorial that stood here.

"He had himself pierced once too often."

Undertakers Pole

"Yes, it's my husband Ron, it was cheaper to get him stuffed than buried."

'He would have wanted it this way, Molly.'

Joe Splitz - Acrobat.

"Some people he knew wanted closure."

Mobile Crem

Bone shaped biscuits - rejects go in a coffin.

"Wrong line, buddy."

"This is your first burial at sea, isn't it!"

"Morning, Father. I'm the funeral director."