Funeral Directors With A Twist Gifts

"Pop Goes the Weasel" never sounded so unnerving.

'He's credited with inventing the game 'spin the bottle' way back in the '30s.'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

He looks so natural lying there...

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"Sir, can I interest you in a luxury coffin?"

Cricketer's funeral

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"What? Too soon?"

"The family has spent all week crafting a beautiful service of words and pictures - far too sentimental to be of practical use."

"Hibernating! C'mon guys, I was only hibernating."

'Normally, I would appreciate your never-say-die-attitude...'

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"Efficiency tombs available"

"Oh relax, I'm off the clock for another hour."

Shoptalk

This Space Available.

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

'Gosh, really? That must be pretty grim...'

Dead Man's Handel

A signaller directing pallbearers

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

Viking Funeral

'I tend to bury stuff.'

'Cut! More sobbing, people! From the top...'