Funeral Attendees Pillows

'This is no time for 'knock knock' jokes!'

'You'll never guess where I'm calling from!'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

"I don't like the way the new pastor is looking at his flock."

Today's Sermon: We come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. Is there any chance of a bailout?

"You said it—everybody heard you."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

Four Chanting Monks

Curate talking to miners

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

'Everything is confidential. We don't need to do scout's honor.'

"And a source said let there be light."

"Maybe if we hold her under longer."

"Will you all please bow your heads for the reading of the menu."

"Not just Sundays, I think it's a sin for you to play any day!"

"After last week's incident, I'd like to talk about one of the lesser-known Commandments - Thou Shalt Not Heckle."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"See what we missed. . .? I told you that we should have gone to church yesterday!!"

Bingo Addicts...

Sinner/Devout.

Coffin of clown on stilts is carried at funeral.

"It's amazing how the captures one's true, inner self."

"Yeah, there were lots of flowers, so I had a good feed. It was rather awkward though: it was a funeral..."

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

'Please come down, Reverend Brewster -- We really DID like your sermon!'

'I think I see why attendance has been down.'

'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'

'He had bad breath, but I suppose that was better than no breath at all.'

'But I thought YOU would be the first to know!'

Gravedigger

At Salvador Dali's funeral,

Vicar pulls public-toilet hand towel which reads 'The end is nigh'