Fundraising Tactician Pillows

"Forget it, kid, I'm tired of getting hit up every time your school has a fundraiser. The granny train stops here."

"Our war is against cancer."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Pearly King and Queen

Genius

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

"Well, we got the grant."

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

Bake Sale! To benefit our town animal shelter

The nonprofit dog fight.

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"Waldo starts a GoFindMe."

"The change management consultant wants to move the meeting."

How To Cut The Defense Budget

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."