Fundraising Strategist Pillows

'We need to strike the right tone between asking and deperately pleading in our alumni solicitation letters.'

'It's pure psychology - as soon as I've finished my sermon on coverting wives and wordly goods. Get the collection plates round'.

"Good boy."

"Our war is against cancer."

'If only every year was an election year.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Pearly King and Queen

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"Well, we got the grant."

"With great power comes great reward."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

Bake Sale! To benefit our town animal shelter

The nonprofit dog fight.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

"Waldo starts a GoFindMe."

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."