Fundraising Tactician Gifts

"Forget it, kid, I'm tired of getting hit up every time your school has a fundraiser. The granny train stops here."

"Our war is against cancer."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Pearly King and Queen

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

Genius

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"As you can see, Simpson, I'm not the sort of man who's afraid of confrontation...that is you isn't it, Simpson?"

"Well, we got the grant."

Lincoln v. Douglas - 2020

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

Bake Sale! To benefit our town animal shelter

The nonprofit dog fight.

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

"Hang in there, pal. I launched a crowdfunding website for you."

"Should I just give him the £2.50 or does that look cheap. . . would he say anything if I just walked past?"

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"Waldo starts a GoFindMe."

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

How To Cut The Defense Budget

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"The change management consultant wants to move the meeting."