Fundraising Fixer Pillows

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"We only got six days of funding."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

Waiting for Pants

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

The nonprofit dog fight.

"I told you we needed deeper foundations!"

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"What are we doing wrong?"

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."