Fun-loving Mom Supporter Pillows

'Yes, I do admire your motorcycle. However, your 'I love my mommy' t-shirt is a little weird.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Jeff's Smorgasbord

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

Open other end

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Man painting MOM on boat

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"You can't have dessert until you eat all of your people nuggies."

Baby car seat for a Native American.

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

'Superbaby...More powerful than an electric breast pump!'

Child on a schedule.

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

Beating Dad at Chess.

Single parents.

Add your kids' ages together...

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

'She's the primary caregiver!'

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

Working Moms

'I'm not waiting for luggage; I just bring the kids here to play.'

'Now might be a good time to tell you I'm gay.'

Soccer Moms Without Kids.

'Would you like your ultrasound photos standard, high definition, 3-D, or 4K ultra HD?'

We fell asleep on the hayride.

"And if you don't finish your vegetables, Daddy will take you to a Knicks game."

Mother and Baby

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

"My child has special wants."

"I don't understand people who say children should be seen and not heard. Why would anyone want to hear them?"