Fun Family Chaos Engineer Gifts

"Well, don't look at me, you got him the chemistry set!"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

The Family Joules: Part 16

"I need to know who started it."

Family with pets.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

'Let's get this party started!'

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

'Found her. Keeping her.'

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'