Fun Family Chaos Engineer Gifts

"Well, don't look at me, you got him the chemistry set!"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Family with pets.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I need to know who started it."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'Let's get this party started!'

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

'Found her. Keeping her.'

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

"I've been a mess since Jake left for college, so now we have a boy who comes in a couple of times a week to leave wet towels all over and challenge everything I say."

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'