Frustrated Sleeper Pillows

'This is your sleep aid. Take two of these at bedtime and stuff them up your husband's nose. That should stop his snoring.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"Time for bed, guys."

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

Ryanair refunds

"If you can't sleep you may as well be productive and guard the meth lab."

Road signs.

"If I hear one more buzz I will pull this car over!"

A sleeping man counting scuba-diving sheep

'Honey, honey. You've got to stop walking and talking in your sleep!'

Counting Sheep

"Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that you're having trouble getting out of bed in the morning; you know we do have counsellors in the building if you feel you need support with that."

Intelligent Navigation Device...

'Does anyone feel like I do?'

'I can't sleep, knowing that the increased cost of doing business is being passed on to me!'

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"

"I have a problem with resisting arrest."

"Would you like to pay with card, cash or the dim and shredded remains of my remaining dreams?"

The Hold Dance

"This passport is so weak that I need a visa to enter my own country."

Runner thinking about sleeping.

"Your call is important to us, please hold on for the next available echo."

'My fitness tracker only logged three hours of sleep last night, but so far today I'm at five hours of day dreaming.'

'I thought you're going to put the coffee on.'

'When the computer senses that you are in a hurry, it automatically slows down.'

Basic Economy

"Mr Jones is getting increasingly frustrated with the attitude of airlines"

A bee keeper trying to sleep counts bees jumping over a fence.

"You had me up all night. You were clicking in your sleep again."

"Effing self-publishing rejection!"

"The 9.23 train is cancelled...new timetables will be arriving at 9.46, 10.15 and 11.07."

On the phone in bed.

Books - Travel Misery Memoirs