Frozen Connoisseur Gifts

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

Snow is falling...

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

It isn't about what's right or wrong, but choosing what's right for you. Therapy makes shopping way more difficult.

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

'I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of frozen dinners!'

'Mister Nooka, taking over the frozen food division.'

"Did you leave that hairdryer on again..?"

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

Dad's Diner - 'The best in frozen foods'.

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I forgot to defrost the walrus.'

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

"Oh, no, he couldn't start this dairy farm in California or Hawaii. It had to be Wisconsin!"

'Know what? I don't feel drafts anymore.'

"One coffee and 12 creams."

Mr Winter.

'More customer complaints, sir! They complain that the container takes too long to open!'

'This anti-ageing cream is well past it's sell-by date!'

Grocery shopper sees TV Dinners and Radio Dinners

Fisherman catches fish sticks

Hats & Caps: 'I don't give a damn - show me something with earflaps!'

'When does salmon season start?!'

'What's an OFF season?'

'The danger of similar packaging.'