Frozen Connoisseur Gifts

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

Snow is falling...

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

"I love this frosting! Can I get the recipe?"

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

It isn't about what's right or wrong, but choosing what's right for you. Therapy makes shopping way more difficult.

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I forgot to defrost the walrus.'

Dad's Diner - 'The best in frozen foods'.

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

"Did you leave that hairdryer on again..?"

'I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of frozen dinners!'

'Mister Nooka, taking over the frozen food division.'

"Oh, no, he couldn't start this dairy farm in California or Hawaii. It had to be Wisconsin!"

'Know what? I don't feel drafts anymore.'

Mr Winter.

'More customer complaints, sir! They complain that the container takes too long to open!'

"One coffee and 12 creams."

Where wrinkle cream comes from. . .

'This anti-ageing cream is well past it's sell-by date!'

Grocery shopper sees TV Dinners and Radio Dinners

'When does salmon season start?!'

Fisherman catches fish sticks

'Cold enough now?' (Beer in block of ice.)

TV dinners: Standard Widescreen