Frontier Adventurer T-Shirts

"You were the one who wanted to colonize another planet."

Fly Football

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

Time Machine Collision

"Where the wild things were."

The Mouse King appears in the Nutcracker

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Hugh fans!"

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

School trip little porters.

Playground Pipe Dreams

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

Bluesky helicopter evacuation from X

Sleeping Beauty.

"I'm not really sure what is weirder: that that bear did not maul us, or that he did hug us..."

Astronaut

"Time passes much more slowly in the other dimension, so take these sudokus."

Witch dice.

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

The Four Horsemen of Trees: Beavers, Hammocks, Bugs, Unpainted Furniture.

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

Atomic Bear: Part 2

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

Finding Bigfoot

'You know how you've always wanted to go on a balloon safari..?'

Caution Dry Rot

If you think that's good, you should see the Pork Sabre!

Sadly, the few who actually checked their e-mail, were too out of shape to run.