Friends Of Family Gifts

Bouncing baby

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Licensed Therapist

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"I didn't spark joy."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Dancing Doctor

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Very Difficult Conversations

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

"Little help?"

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

Cardiac Recovery.

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."