Family-oriented Friend Gifts

Palm Pilot. I can't wait until we get to Hawaii --- I've got lots of family there! Tropical Air.

Balloon Kids

Future Micro MGR.

'They're not like popsickles, Sir...They're just too warm and syrupy.'

"After I stopped telling the kids vegetables were good for them, they started eating them."

"You'll have to listen to Gramps tell you about how tough it was when he was a kid...but then he'll give you the dollar anyway!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

Infantry.

Senior Jeopardy!

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

Young Gums

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

"He's only energetic on sunny days."

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

Mistaken baby ducks.

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."