Family-oriented Individuals Gifts

"Our family. We ran out of room years ago."

"Talk about climate change- my kid just moved back home."

'Just a minute while your father figures this out.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Licensed Therapist

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"I didn't spark joy."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

Dancing Doctor

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

Cardiac Recovery.

"Little help?"

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Very Difficult Conversations

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Babies vs. Dogs

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

"You left your demons here last week."

Swinging

No caption (In the first frame a dog rides in a car with his head hanging out the window. The dog is smiling. In the next three frames the view gets progressively closer to his ear, until on the fourth frame a closeup is shown of a flea on the dogs ear. He too, is smiling).

'And this is Allan...he's the brain in the family!'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"