Family-focused Friend Gifts

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Balloon Kids

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

Infantry.

Senior Jeopardy!

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

Young Gums

"He's only energetic on sunny days."

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

Mistaken baby ducks.

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Sermon Applause.

It was a good idea to let the kids bring their friends...

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'