Friend With A Beagle Gifts

"Like a lot of Beagles, he's pretty domesticated, but there's still some of the hunter in him."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This never happened."

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

'Out, damned Spot.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

Garbage Piñata

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Labrador Non-retriever

Dog scared of a toad jumps onto a 'Beware the Dog' sign.

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

Dog on balconey in city sniffing tree in pot

Dog with toilet IV

"I yip, therefore I am."

"What's that smell, girl? Is it spring?"

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

Fetching some fuel.

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

Sure, I'll sit, but I want half the treat upfront.

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

'No need to shout.'

'That beagle sure is a tough case!'