Friend Who Loves Football Pillows

"What does George Soros say about the German back-four?"

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

You were warned about mixed marriages.

The Other Cooperstown

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

"Of course I love you more than I ove football -- You were my first-round draft pick!"

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

Football Delivery

"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

Baseball Angels

"Sometimes I question his priorities."

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

'Doc, check out screen 2 in ten minutes...we got the big game!'

Cupid fires an arrow into a football.

Apparently Barking Rovers have won the cup.

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

Abraham sacrifices Isaac

'Kevin, I'm sorry for losing my temper on the eighteenth. Ah I see they removed the flag alright.'

'Did you know golf is the healthiest sport you can play?'

Plane crash on football pitch.

Vuvuzela bin.

"Who's winning the football game?...Sportsmanship or violence?"

'You're pregnant?'

"Have you given any thought to what you're going to do with your life after the Super Bowl?"

The Three Little Words every woman wants to hear - 'the football's finished'.

Neymar

'I'm from the First Infidelity Bank. I noticed you people drafted Tim Tebow in the first round last year and I'm here to talk to you about overdraft protection.'

Swing by won't you?

University of Nebraska sold out for 375 games in a row but now is in danger of ending that due to poor performance.

"Your reputation for taking penalties doesn't scare me... Ready when you are."