Friend's Beach Trip Gifts

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Shellfie

Happy holidays for kids.

Energy saving mode

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

Building giant sand pies.

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

'Actually, most brides would find being stranded on a deserted beach very romantic...'

S.P.F. 1,000

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Fetching some fuel.

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

Children building 'Sandcastle City'.

"You're on vacation. Stop trying to type things."

Child with doll in the sea

Summer's coming! Occupy Cornwall!

'No need to shout.'

"Ever since I started reading the newspaper online, he's been bringing me my laptop."

Dog's game

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

"The fragrance of the pines alloys so wonderfully with that dead carcass I'm about to roll in."

"I visited the beach on Google Earth. Next time I'll wear sunscreen."

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

Beachy Hair

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'