Friend's Beach Trip Gifts

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Shellfie

Happy holidays for kids.

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

'Actually, most brides would find being stranded on a deserted beach very romantic...'

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

Energy saving mode

Building giant sand pies.

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

S.P.F. 1,000

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Child with doll in the sea

Children building 'Sandcastle City'.

Fetching some fuel.

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

Summer's coming! Occupy Cornwall!

"You're on vacation. Stop trying to type things."

'No need to shout.'

"Ever since I started reading the newspaper online, he's been bringing me my laptop."

Dog's game

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

"The fragrance of the pines alloys so wonderfully with that dead carcass I'm about to roll in."

"I visited the beach on Google Earth. Next time I'll wear sunscreen."

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

Beachy Hair

"It's not the heat that gets you it's the ants."