Friend Of The Family Pillows

"I sure miss gran."

Apparently I didn't learn enough. They say I have to come back tomorrow. Welcome to Kindergarten.

Little Dorrit - The Third Volume of the Registers

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Licensed Therapist

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"I didn't spark joy."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Dancing Doctor

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

Very Difficult Conversations

"Little help?"

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Cardiac Recovery.