Family Person Pillows

"Now that the kids have grown up, can we talk?"

'Okay. We're finished. Now, go see your father. I'm sure he'll want to know how you did today in gym or lunch.'

I love my dog!

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Cry babies.

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The Baby Walker

Licensed Therapist

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'Ahhh...'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

My First Camera

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.