Friday The 13th Survivor Pillows

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Any chance of getting your alarm clock fixed?

Monday morning is nigh.

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

Mondays...

"Let's just say this hasn't been a Monday morning of magical thinking."

'I don't hate Mondays -- I FEAR Mondays!'

"Thanks, but do you have anything stronger than 'have a nice day'?"

"Why do eras always end on Friday the 13th?"

Which Cup? 'Me' or 'Real Me'?

"Sure, you lost most of your money investing in this stock, but they did give you a participation trophy."

'If it's any consolation, your portfoilo is now in a far better place.'

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

"No, we're no gods, we're God's gift to women!"

"Well, because today is Friday the 13th."

Hat Swap

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

'Since I lost my shirt on the stock market, I now only accept strong currency or gold bullion.'

'Your portfolio took a beating...,but the good news is no humans or animals were injured.'

"Oh, how I ...give me a push... hate Mondays."

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

Friday the 13th.

BUS, 'I don't hate Mondays -- I FEAR Mondays!'

Watching the decline