Fretful Philosopher Pillows

John W. Wilson 1949-2009 - Forgot to ask his doctor everything he wanted to ask him.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Pigeon Little

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Reverse psychology

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

'I could have made money in the stock market if I had only found the right 'How to invest' book...'

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic!'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

Rodin's 'The Thinker' imagines himself as Rodin's 'The Kiss'.

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"It Works For Us."

'No matter how hard I work, I'll never get higher on the food chain then this?'

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

"It's chic to be vulnerable."

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

"Hard to believe that school's almost over."

The existentialist manifesto according to Jean-Paul Sinatra-'oooby Dooby Doo!'

"Maybe he's waving and drowning."