Frequent Flyers Club Member Gifts

"You're in the wrong queue, sir. . . the 'Air-of-entitlement, upgrade-demands' counter, is over there."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'What zip code are we in now?'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Walking Luggage.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

Airplane Mode.

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

A private jet takes off

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'Flight simulator'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Vaccination Passport

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'