Frequent Flyer Funny Bone Pillows

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Snowprov

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

Eucharist

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Movers and shakers.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

'That better not be a second rib scar, Adam.'

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"Sadly, we're seeing more and more of this as we encroach on their natural habitat."

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

Hang Time Fido