Frequent Flyer Follies Gifts

'Your luggage was accidentally sent to Singapore, sir, and you're being tried in absentia there for smuggling after-shave lotion.'

"Would you like some wings?"

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

Felix suddenly remembers what the string on his finger is a reminder of.

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

Elite-Premium Passengers

'Does N.A.S.A. give frequent flyer miles?'

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

Bob landed in Hell. And to make matters worse, they lost his luggage.

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

Casino. Ask about our frequent take-a-flyer program.

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

"This is your captain speaking. I'm delighted to announce that all you frequent flyers members on board today will earn five credits at the college of your choice."

'I'm a frequent flier, so it's really quite cheap.'

"The possibilities are endless!" "The possibilities ended."

Frequent Flier Tom Walstrom, on his way to Seattle, passes his luggage on it's way to L.A.

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Customer to airline clerk: 'If I drop leaflets out the plane window, do I get frequent flyer miles?'

Flying fish or sardines? (crowded airliner).

'Joe, could I have your frequent flier points?'

Airplane Catches Woman's Washing.

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

'We need a third runway for all the ministers flying to India and China to tell them to cut their carbon emissions.'

"What's up with him?" "Travelling on points."

'Does this effect my Frequent Flyer Miles?'

'How many frequent flier miles do you have?'

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

ACE Airlines. Ask about our frequent flier bonus plan. I think it's nice of the airlines to give frequent fliers a free ticket to anywhere. They can go get their luggage.