French Language Gifts

"Ou est le feu?"

"In my downtime I'm using this app to learn Corporate speak, Legalese, and French."

'Of course he's smiling. In your best high school French, you just ordered Champagne for the entire hotel.'

Trail Lawyers For The Pretentious - "J'accuse!", "Mais Non!"

Bashing french speaking Canadians just makes you look like a proper moron.

How to speak French, lesson 1: 'This baguette makes me vomit' - 'Je dois vomier de cette baguette.'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

Somewhere in France: The visitors are stunned by a series of trilled R's.

Apples (Les Pommes)

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

The Vineyard

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Punctuation Police

Backfire

Assault 'n' Vinegar

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

Jean-Paul Sartre