Foreign Languages Gifts

Linguaphone language course, "Congratulations, this course should last two weeks before you give up along with all your other resolutions"

'...may I suggest that you stick to the English version of the menu!' - Man accidently orders a turbo-charged wheel barrow with a flat tyre filled with nuclear waste.

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

One pig exiting 'Pig Latin' class: 'Did you understand everything that was said?' Othe pig: 'Ixnay.'

'Hands up all those who know what language we speak.'

Foreign Language Books

'The only Spanish words Grandpa knows are cigar names.'

'Got one in English?'

Excess Baggage: If you are handed a menu in a foreign language you might want to ask a few questions before you order.

"I spent six months listening to your tapes trying to learn Spanish, and now I find out it was Serbo-Croatian."

Cuba Opens to International Tourism

Somewhere in France - John O'Dowd jests away his junior year abroad

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

Backfire

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.