Foreign Languages Gifts

Linguaphone language course, "Congratulations, this course should last two weeks before you give up along with all your other resolutions"

'...may I suggest that you stick to the English version of the menu!' - Man accidently orders a turbo-charged wheel barrow with a flat tyre filled with nuclear waste.

An English and French student converse.

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

One pig exiting 'Pig Latin' class: 'Did you understand everything that was said?' Othe pig: 'Ixnay.'

'Hands up all those who know what language we speak.'

Foreign Language Books

'The only Spanish words Grandpa knows are cigar names.'

'Got one in English?'

Excess Baggage: If you are handed a menu in a foreign language you might want to ask a few questions before you order.

"I spent six months listening to your tapes trying to learn Spanish, and now I find out it was Serbo-Croatian."

Cuba Opens to International Tourism

Somewhere in France - John O'Dowd jests away his junior year abroad

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Torturing the English Language

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."