French Foodie Pillows

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Garlic Free Zone.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Gigot de sept heures."

Cooking with Pierre

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'My French is not so good.'

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

'The escargots are underdone.'

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

Culinary Culture.

"My bouche was not amused."

"Pat? de fois gras avec des petits pois et pommes de terre au gratin? Very well, sir ? is generic okay?"

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

French man holding a dish.

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'