Freezer Fixer Pillows

'Oh no, freezer's on the blink again!'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"Fido's determined to find that bone."

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

'I use these ice cubes to make minor home repairs.'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"She does this when she's tired."

"I told you we needed deeper foundations!"

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

DIY.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

Super glue . . .

"I bit someone once, but It was just to establish credibility."

"I can't find the instructions."

Irritable dowel syndrome

Home Business - Printer Ink.

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

"Kick the machine"

"Try to open Grampy's chair a little slower next time, puddin'."

Unfinished Furniture.