Freeloader Avoider Pillows

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"Alert security, the buck has failed to stop here and is loose in the building."

'I don't like to waste time. How long on average does it take a recruit to make general?'

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"This is crazy! Why can't they give us one e-reader with all our school textbooks already on it? That way...I can ignore just one book instead of this whole stack!"

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

The pair of socks waited confidently in the corner, secure in the knowledge that no matter what happens, no one ever suspects the socks.

"I don't like all the responsibility that comes with my new pompousness."

"I've hung all the credit card bills on the tree, maybe that will stop you going to the sales."

It's not that Ned is superstitious...but rather, he doesn't take unnecessary risks!

Hiding from unwanted visitors.

"Just more Junk Mail."

"Village church. Monday: Apocalypse. No bingo."

'If this prescription doesn't help, go to Maggie Brown's party next week. There'll be a specialist there.'

"You're in my laundry's favorite seat."

'I found I'm able to maintain my disposition by not watching any economic or employment news.'