Free Enterprise Critic Gifts

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

'But the good news is: with each downsizing, you qualify for frequent fired 'discount' points.'

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

Privatized Jails

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

The COMPANY is always right.

"When the going gets tough, the tough get a government handout."

"Budget Cuts."

BP Greed Credentials - huge profits and cuts to environmental promises.

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

'In the modern world manufacturing takes place in China. Most R&D is one in South Korea and support and logistics is based in India.'

"Of course he's smiling, he spent all the company profits before he died."

'Yes Sir, I am at this very minute passing on your recommendations for staff wage cuts to the appropriate department'

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

'Before your 'routine' surgery, your manager would like to stop by and give you a 'routine' exit interview.'

Yes-Man Training Seminar.

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

"Workers have obligation to limit their economic demands to make the USA more competitive!"

Big oil.