Freak Show Fan Gifts

The Lobster Man - The Sand-Eating Child - The Alligator Lady - The Living Head

Freaks of nature exhibit.

See the Amazing Un-Tattooed Lady!!

"There's a small gland in the center of the skull called the pituitary, and . . ."

Roy's glee turned to dismay as he realized that on board the approaching raft were Cactus Boy and the Amazing Colossal 500 Pound Woman: "Hey. You gonna eat the rest of that burrito?"

Bizarre But True.

'You and your aversion to needles!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

Applause

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

"I suppose you think that's funny."

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

'Pick a business card.'

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

Houdini.

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

We really have to stop letting him watch the news.

"Don't ask where it comes from. Just be glad I can provide."

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'