Freak Show Fan Gifts

The Lobster Man - The Sand-Eating Child - The Alligator Lady - The Living Head

Freaks of nature exhibit.

See the Amazing Un-Tattooed Lady!!

"There's a small gland in the center of the skull called the pituitary, and . . ."

Roy's glee turned to dismay as he realized that on board the approaching raft were Cactus Boy and the Amazing Colossal 500 Pound Woman: "Hey. You gonna eat the rest of that burrito?"

Bizarre But True.

'You and your aversion to needles!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"As I was only saying the other day..."

Applause

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

Astral Projection

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"I suppose you think that's funny."

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

'Pick a business card.'

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

Houdini.

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"Don't ask where it comes from. Just be glad I can provide."