Fraud Prevention Pillows

Beware Tax Rebate Scammers...

The origins of the Email Money Scam...

Watchdog Maddoff Type Fraud Schemes.

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Men's Health Screenings.

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

AIDS prevention

'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

Fake Counterfeit Money

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

'Your father installed a security system.'

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"Forget the bloody glove for a moment; ignore all the arguments about the DNA evidence and try to remember that this case, after all, is about securities violations."

"Of course he's smiling, he spent all the company profits before he died."

Bernard Madoff's House Arrest.

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

You know retail is in a bad way when...

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

"We're from Neighborhood Watch. We'd like to see some I.D."

Berlitz guide to Scamese

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."