Fraternity Life Observer T-Shirts

"Pledge Kavanaugh reporting for hazing."

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"It's his emotional support animal."

'In general, do the right thing.'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"I need a more interactive you."

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

'I'm his best friend, until his wife walks in.'

"Think you could teach your kid to throw straight?"

Junior's Towel

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

'Miron, stop teasing your brother this instant or I swear I will eat you! Don't think I won't! Remember what happened to your older brother Milton?!"

"You must be brave now, Randolph! You. . . You. . . You are adopted!"

"Hey, don't forget man's best friend!"

People in street, "Ooh doesn't he take after his dad"

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

'I remember when she was proud to be seen with her parents.'

Parrot Demands

'Oh, please and thank you work okay, but I miss the old days as a baby when a blood-curdling shriek could get immediate service.'

School photos.

"Once you leave your safe-space, you can never go back again."

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

"Okay, people! Let's get our Taylor Swift on!"