Fraternity Life Observer Pillows

"Pledge Kavanaugh reporting for hazing."

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"It's his emotional support animal."

'In general, do the right thing.'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"I need a more interactive you."

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

'I'm his best friend, until his wife walks in.'

"Think you could teach your kid to throw straight?"

Junior's Towel

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

'For Peter's Home and Careers class, he has to take care of this computerized doll of a 23-year-old son who won't move out of the house.'

Where the Wild things Aren't.

People in street, "Ooh doesn't he take after his dad"

'Miron, stop teasing your brother this instant or I swear I will eat you! Don't think I won't! Remember what happened to your older brother Milton?!"

"Hey, don't forget man's best friend!"

"You must be brave now, Randolph! You. . . You. . . You are adopted!"

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

'I remember when she was proud to be seen with her parents.'

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

"In local news, 'Hapless Husband Trapped in Loveless Marriage.'"

Parrot Demands

'Oh, please and thank you work okay, but I miss the old days as a baby when a blood-curdling shriek could get immediate service.'

"Nine Months?? Can't you just download it?"