Monastic Life Observer Pillows

Drunk Monk - Out of Order

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Trappist Monk Discord

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

Trappist talk show.

"He was much more effective in the field."

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

Amimated illuminated Manuscript

Maternity Hospital

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

Mice 25¢

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

'What is wrong with brother Sebastian?'

Old Yarns

"Better safe than sorry, son."

"Auto reply: I am dead and will have limited access to e-mail."