Family Life Observers T-Shirts

'Miron, stop teasing your brother this instant or I swear I will eat you! Don't think I won't! Remember what happened to your older brother Milton?!"

"Remember kids: the best way to annoy a human is to fly around its nose, ears, mouth or eyes..."

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

Life and Death

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

Origins Of Evolution

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

I think it's time he left home.'

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

"I need a more interactive you."

Look,that is not your Daddy

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

"Just wait until my autobiographical one-woman show."

"Hey. Smells funny. Fix it. And bring me a beer."

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

Waiting Room

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"