Family Observer T-Shirts

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

People in street, "Ooh doesn't he take after his dad"

'Audrey's little friend seems so grown up.'

'The circle is complete!'

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"It's his emotional support animal."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

Life and Death

Origins Of Evolution

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

I think it's time he left home.'

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

Look,that is not your Daddy

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

"Just wait until my autobiographical one-woman show."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

Waiting Room

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"Hey. Smells funny. Fix it. And bring me a beer."

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'