University Life Observer T-Shirts

Early Trigger Warning

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Take It From Me: Who Uses Your Bathroom Is So Not a Big Deal

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

Out of work lecturer.

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'In general, do the right thing.'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

Life and Death

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

Cover Design for Cambridge ABC (Student Magazine)

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

The new boy was teased for being different.

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

Mice 25¢

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

Maternity Hospital

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

"Think you could teach your kid to throw straight?"

Junior's Towel

'He can call whoever he wants, she's still not parking that thing in my classroom!'

"I know there are people who look like their pets, but..."

"Please help! God struck me blind for not giving to a blind beggar."

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

"I remember when this was all forest..."

"Better safe than sorry, son."