Fraction Fanatic Gifts

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

"Since the test is on fractions, I didn't think you would mind if I got a portion of them wrong."

"Even though I've come this far, I'm still not sure which is the numerator and which is the denominator."

"The human brain starts working the moment you're born, and doesn't stop working 'til you get to long division."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

'But I digress...'

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

Annual profits,

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"#Win!"

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.