Foster Mom Gifts

"I'm going home to my foster mother."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Foster failure"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Foster failure

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

Hassled Mother.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

'Oh there you are...you naughty girl! What have you been up to this time?'

"Well yes, technically, I've only had three kids of my own, but I've raised two cuckoo chicks as well..."

Litter.

"The Momfia"

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

"Noah, I'm tired of doing battle with you!"

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

'My mom is really important in our house. She's the cook, housekeeper, nanny, lanundress and the boss.'

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

'Be honest, Mum. I'm adopted, aren't I?'

Family courts.

Mother with baby and puppy in a sling and her husband in the buggy.

"Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan...Sarge Higgins is one hell of a tough guy! But he wouldn't have a chance against my mom - she raised three kids!"

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

"Among them, my children have eighteen years of accumulated experience harassing their mother!"

"I went through hell to get them adopted."

"Keeping all out kids does NOT make us hoarders."

Wonder Woman!

"Mom, Dad - I'm adopted, aren't I?"

'When you have boys, you need 'presoak'.'

Working Mothers.

Father dog walks his puppies.

Biological parent's night.

'Adopt a policy.'

'He's a quick learner. He's already memorized the last four digits of his social security number.'