Foster Fail Phenoms Gifts

Foster failure

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Foster failure"

"The invention of taxidermy."

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"Well yes, technically, I've only had three kids of my own, but I've raised two cuckoo chicks as well..."

'Those aren't sprinkles! they're FLEAS!!!! 'I made it from scratch.'

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

Lumberjack's Epic Fail

Family courts.

'Be honest, Mum. I'm adopted, aren't I?'

"I went through hell to get them adopted."

"The head, the head! I told you, always support the baby's head!"

"Mom, Dad - I'm adopted, aren't I?"

"Mr. Saltee"

Biological parent's night.

'Adopt a policy.'

"Sure, I could hold your hand during down markets...but it wouldn't help you learn how to embrace failure."

"These instructions are useless. Keep up the good work."

"I see they've privatised the fostering and adoption service."

'Today I discover fire, tonight she burns dinner.'

'You aren't very good with children, are you Dad?'

"I'm a wunderkind slash flop."

The Evolution of Foster Care in Kentucky

"I'm going home to my foster mother."

"From tomorrow you're going to live over at 114. We've outsourced your childhood."

A man's instant camera picture falls into his soup.

'When you said foster carers were to be treated like other professionals, we didn't think you meant cutting our budgets and increasing our workloads.'

Recipe for Disaster Muffins.

"Er! Actually I was thinking of starting with the left handed."

Flopsy wakes up one day and suddenly realizes why she never succeeded at anything.

Last investor in pyramid scheme

'They didn't know I was in his backpack when they performed the Heimlich maneuver on him.'