Fortunist Pillows

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

'I hope it;s an express.'

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

Man selling dirt and mud.

Assange Among Friends

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

'We would like to visit with you about the possibility of expanding our franchise...'

"I'd like to explore the futures market."

'Excited by the quarterly report?'

"Do you accept credit card?"

Natural causes of death in Russia: diseases, old age, homosexuality.

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

fortune teller and credit card.

'I'm sorry, Jerome. Instead of marriage and having kids, I've decided just to have myself cloned.'

'Consumer Society'

"The wealth inequality is a good lesson, since a bullish portfolio will make you rich, not happy."

Castle Cat Flap

'I'm sorry, your broker is no longer available. He's been replaced by an app.'

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on . . .'