Formula Afficionado T-Shirts

"Be rational."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'But I digress...'

"Is it that bad?"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

Back to school.

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

'Simply put.'

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

'May I say it's a great pleasure to present my work to such a distinquished assembly of my colleagues.'

Information booth attendant solves equation

"Where the hell's my pocket calculator?"

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

"Have you been working out?"

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'This part was tenure.'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'...and that is my philosophy.'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

'Let's see if we could put a spin on it and get the public interested.'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

"Lucky Guess."

Product Formula - "He's brilliant. But his mind wanders."

'...Or not.'

"I think I've finally figured out who's on first."

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

"Always with the cancer cures, this one."